Transforming Your Relationship with Fear
• Face it
• Explore it
• Accept it
• Respond to it
Facing fear means that we end the running, cringing, and hiding from the scary voice within us, the voice that will always find us no matter where we run or where we hide. Exploring means that we turn and walk toward the big scary Bully. If you think that doesn’t take some courage, just wait. Accepting it, contrary to misconception, does not mean we agree with fear, or that we like it. To accept is simply to realize there are some things we cannot change. The sooner we accept that the scary messages running through our minds will not be erased, the sooner we can move on to investing our valuable energy in the last of the four steps. Responding to our fears is what it is all about, but the ability to change our responses can only be built on the foundation of personal growth and change.
1. Take small steps….Allow yourself time and patience in this process. Getting to the stage where you really feel like you need to stop waiting and take action can take some time.
2. Engage in some concrete, positive motivation….Take 5 minutes. Take out a piece of paper and a pen. And write down all the wonderful ways you can come up with how making this change will improve your life. Writing down all the good things you will gain in your life by overcoming fear can be powerful.
3. See failure and rejection in a new light…often it is easier to not do something because we fear failure and rejection. When we are able to accept this as part of our journey, as part of moving us toward our ultimate “calling” then we become willing to handle failure and rejection as part of the price to pay for success.
4. Be in the now….what this means is to keep yourself steadily in the now. As a mentor, I want to tell you that when you start to worry, look down at your feet. Where are you standing? What are you doing right at that moment? That is what you have control of. It is important to not let your thoughts and emotions run away to the future or the past. Being in the now means not getting your mind stuck in a kind of psychological and emotional headspace that is placed in the past or future. It means not dwelling on what has gone wrong before and what could go wrong tonight or tomorrow. Such thinking will only create and ramp up your fear to the point where you feel unable to do anything. Realizing that you DO have control of what is happening now and appreciating that moment makes you feel more empowered and helps you to see the small successes of every day.
5. Redefine you and your reality….an addiction to positivity can lessen the fear in your mind of what might happen in a new, unfamiliar situation or how someone might respond to what you are saying. A negative view of the world can create fear and hold you back.
To redefine your life, you must understand your creation, declare your uniqueness, and claim significance both in your own life and the lives of others. By focusing on that which you have been called to do, the pebbles in the road that seem like boulders, remain pebbles, and the boulders are reduced to pebbles.
My friends the fears that slow us down and hinder our journey…can be overcome and you may live a life of victory. This journey is worth the struggle, it is by this overcoming that you will live a life of Significance!!